Doin' Work in Death City
by Abbie Von Dutch
Summary: On a move to Death City, Aileen and Iggy cause trouble wherever they go... well, Aileen does. She's weird, and every person she encounters will NEVER SEE LIFE THE SAME WAY. She has a crush on Kid, but... didn't I say she's weird? T for language.
1. Doomed

"Aileen, calm down. We have like five feet left," voiced the shaggy-headed weapon.

"LAY OFF ME IGGY IT'S HOT."

Seriously, why was there a stupid city in the middle of a stupid desert? I hate Nevada. The sun laughed on, presumably at my discomfort. "That sun is laughing at _us_, Iggs. See it?"

Iggy, my white-haired (I like to call him a white head.[Like a zit.]) companion, looked up and sighed. "At least it's not freezing, like San Fran. Seriously, is this the first time you've owned shorts?"

"...Yes, it is. Shut up, you twat." Well, real shorts. I had to wear gym shorts in P.E. It blew. Why couldn't they assign us sweats or something, I hate the bay. Hurr. End tangent.

We entered a city that just looked like a bunch of buildings layered on a giant cake of death. There were even candles on the building in the center, which I assumed was Shibusen. We were going in to the center of the giant cake. LIKE THOSE MALE STRIPPERS THAT POP OUT. I'm not going to lie, I was really excited after that thought. "AND AWAYYY WE GO!"

Iggy rolled his eyes at my childishness. He could suck it, though. I was 12 days older, and at 17 years of age, I could do what I want. Growing up was for ninnies, anyways. My train of thought was interrupted when someone SO RUDELY bumped my shoulder. "Ah, sorry man." In my neverending quest for attention I said, "HOW RUDE, is this how you treat new people in this town? Iggy, let's go back to California." The boy, who had red eyes, was awestruck nonetheless. I tend to do that to people. Wink wink. He sighed exasperatedly and said, "Woah, girl. I apologized. What else do you want from me?" Haha. He shouldn't have said that.

"Kiss my ring, slave!" I held out my hand for him to kiss. "...No." Lucky for him, Iggy was there to hold me back. "Aileen, shut up. You're weirding out strangers already. We've been here for pretty much five minutes and you just asked this guy to make out with your hand."

My eyebrows came together in thought. "Huh. Sorry 'bout that. My blood sugar is low," I said. "Let's go talk to the guy who runs this joint. We have to get to our apartment before the luggage is delivered, anyway." I waved at the red-eyed guy, took Iggy's hand, and ran off. He looked bamboozled, for lack of a better word.

We walked to the center of the city, which was harder than it sounded. My "instincts" got us lost about four times before Iggy finally walked off without me. I followed him, not that he had any chance of finding the school. (He found it.) We walked into Shinigami's office, talked about arrangements, what class we would be in, such and such. Yeah. We left the room, and I almost ran into another person but this time I was prepared. I sidestepped him and cried, "HA! I knew this town had something wrong with it! Iggy, you should grow a handlebar moustache. I'm serious." Iggy sighed. The boy, looking like he was violated (I would violate him, he's pretty hot), blinked a few times.

"I take responsibility for Aileen. She's a bit of a radical. Sorry, uh..." Iggy trailed off.

"My name is Death the Kid, son of the great Shinigami." Ego trip. Hohoho.

"I'm Iggy, and as you can see, this is Aileen. She needs a _lot_ of attention." Wait, what! Hey!

Wait. He's dressed in a black suit. In the desert. "Wait a second, how are you not dead or dying of dehydration. You live in the _desert_." Oh Aileen, you are so observant.

He chuckled and said, "Well, being the son of a shinigami gives me the powers of a shinigami." Psh, who does he think he is, talking to me like I'm stupid. But I guess that made sense since he w_as_ Shinigami's son, and his name w_as _Death the Kid. Whatever.

"Alrighty, great meeting you Mister 'I think I'm a mysterious death god, let's all treat Aileen like she has autism,' but we have to go to our new home." Okay, so I was being bitter. Not like I'm a death god or anything, so I'm not really above that.

All of a sudden, Death the Kid was like, "Wait!" and I was like, "What?" I'm pretty sure he just wanted to stare at my beauty a little longer but he said my hood's strings were uneven. No, I was not wearing a sweatshirt, well kind of, it had short sleeves. ANYWAYS. Apparently, he had some sort of beef with asymmetry. I didn't have beef, just venison. Sorry, I wouldn't have been satisfied if I didn't share that comedic gold with you.

Finally, we had gone home to find our stuff at the front door. We had sent it when we left so we didn't have to carry stuff or rent a U-Haul. Genius, right? It was Iggy's idea, shit. We brought all the boxes in and unpacked about two, before my favorite sin, sloth, set in.

"Iggyyyyyyyyyyyyyy, let's just get dinner and call it a night," I drawled from the plastic-covered couch. I hadn't eaten all day, I was almost dead. I almost started crying to get Iggy to go get it for me, when there was a knock on the door. Okay, now. I LOVED attention. So I got the door so I would be the first thing they saw, hurr hurr.

When I opened the door, I saw that red-eyed kid from before. But wait, there's more. There was a _girl_ there, insert creepy laugh here. She smiled at me and handed me some dinner, oh my god, was she an angel? "Welcome to the neighborhood. I'm Maka, and this is Soul. We live down the hall."

I almost cried right on the spot. This girl just gave me FOOD. For moving in NEARBY. Should I just put boxes in every unoccupied room on this floor? OH YES. My inner musings were interrupted when Iggy walked to the door and told them thanks. "Introduce yourself, Aileen."

"Oh, sorry. I am Aileen. I love food. THANK YOU SO MUCH. Sorry about earlier too, Soul. Your white hair reminded me of Iggy and I sort of snapped." Iggy discreetly slapped the back of my head. "Uh, I understand? I guess. When I see pigtails they remind me of Maka and my head starts hurting," Soul offered. Maka hit him on the skull with the spine of a book. Poor book.

"Well, see you around!" Maka smiled and dragged Soul off to their apartment... whatever. I had food now! I looked under the foil to find spaghetti. Me and Iggy ate it Lady and the Tramp style and just shared a plate. Not that we liked eachother like that. Our plates were just in boxes at the time.

After we ate, we figured that we'd just go to sleep then. I mean, we could unpack when we got back from school, since we had it the next day. So we carried our mattresses into our seperate rooms and I don't know about Iggy, but I had weird ass dreams about that Kid guy sending me to the flaming pits of hell, then Maka walking in on my punishment and delivering spaghetti made of snakes. I guess that's what mom meant when she said not to eat weird shit before bed.


	2. Fatality

**Hey, kiddos. To the few readers out there, I'm uploading this early. I planned on uploading it Wednesday, however, I have senior portraits (woowoo) AND there will be a new Tosh.0 on Comedy Central so... can't miss that. Monday and Tuesday I can't do because I have to start my long postponed AP homework. and any later would just be... unthinkable. I do have a few chapters typed out, so expect updates in the near future. And to anyone out there who don't like Aileen... good. She's supposed to be annoying. I didn't want to make a character that everyone INSTANTLY FELL IN LOVE WITH or has super meister powers or has any really memorable physical traits. She's just a normal girl from a... somewhat normal city. Anyone heard "Unattainable" by Little Joy? YouTube it. It's just indescribably cute. Are you allowed to say "sexy" on TV commercials?**

**Oh geez. I'm gonna be a senior. Are you fucking serious? Damn.**

When I woke up, that accursed sun was sill laughing. What could possibly be that funny? Oh yeah, my suffering. I grabbed a towel out of the "Bathroom" box to go take a shower. I looked in the mirror, winked, and said, "Yeaaaaaaaaahh. Lookin' good, Somers." I had no idea how to use the dang shower so I was either getting my skin burnt off or cutting myself shaving my legs because I had goosebumps. When I had finished dressing and putting the CLOWN MASK on, Iggy was awake and putting stuff away in the kitchen. I know what you want to ask, and yes, Iggy is whipped as SHIT. Friend-whipped by yours truly, he's kind of my slave. Cue applause, you're too kind. I threw up my super red hair and we left, to our FIRST DAY OF SCHOO-OOL.

On the way, I was trying to recite "Good Morning Baltimore" from Hairspray, but it didn't really work for Death City. Ah well. I saw Kid on the way, turns out he lives in a mansion. Figures, son of Shinigami and all, spoiled rich kids. With him were two admittedly pretty girls. I assumed they were his weapons, apparently accompanying him on his quest for symmetry. I'll admit, I was a little jealous. He was hot, and they got to live in a mansion! But hey, money isn't everything I guess. I was in like with the guy. Anyways, he was making a big deal about leaving his frames tilted weird and was taking forever, so Iggy and I just went ahead.

"Iggy, are you nervous too?" I was starting to get scared. What if the kids were meeeean? I did like attention, but I didn't like to be picked on. "Well, we already know a few people, and you probably can't piss _everyone_ off." "Thanks, Iggs, I feel better now." I actually did feel a bit better, I guess Iggy knows how to calm me down. Weird, huh?

"YAH-HOO!" OH SHIT. That scared the crap out of me. This blue-haired kid challenged us as soon as we went up the steps, what was that about not pissing everyone off? BUT THEN, I GOT THE BEST IDEA EVER.

"Hey, how about a one-on-one battle? You and me," I said. I knew how to deal with guys who picked on innocent beauties like me. "I like your style," he said and walked up to shake my hand, that pervert. Just then, I got a gleam in my eye, and screamed "FINISH HIM" right when I kicked him where that creepy, masochistic sun didn't shine his beams of evil. FATALITY! "Don't mess with women who grew up in the city," I grinned. It would have been cooler if I had pepper spray or a taser. But I was feeling pretty sweet until the bell rang, which meant I found out if my classmates were nice and if the teacher was a twat or not (totally just rhymed, take that JAY-Z).

I tried to go and sit down, but the teacher told the Iggs and myself to stay in front of the class.

"Please, introduce yourselves, and what kind of weapon you are," he said to us.

"Uh, Aileen Somers, meister, future SEX GODDESS," okay, maybe I didn't say the last part, but it was true. "I'm Iggy Beahm. I transform into a shotgun." That's right, is that not the most badass weapon ever? "Please demonstrate," Stein gestured, "Kid, since you work with guns too, please come down as well." He turned this super rad screw in his head. I'm not going to lie, this teacher was cooler than that teacher from Freedom Writers. I'm serious.

Well, Kid came down, blah blah, we both shot at eachother, blah blah, Iggy totally trampled those gold diggers, hah. I'm kidding, they seem nice enough. Still bitter? Maybe. We may not look like much, but me and the Iggs, we are pretty tough, even if we grew up in the 'burbs of San Fransisco. FROM THE WOMB TO THE TOMB, WE GET IT DONE. Iggy transformed back after the battle and we both sat down. On the way up, I nicked some guy's pencil. What? I didn't have time to go school shopping.


	3. Allergies

So, my first day wasn't as bad as it could have been. I was in the same class as Soul and Maka (and I heard Maka was pretty smart, luckily I could just walk two yards to get help at her place), the kid that challenged me was named Black*Star and his partner was Tsubaki. He told me he was trying to surpass God, which I heard was pretty hard to do. Sarcasm aside, it was the best outcome I could have hoped for, except our teacher... Pretty sure he wants me. Hah, just kidding, sort of, he said he wanted to dissect me, but I saw through that double entendre.

"Baby, don't fear, I'm always near, never too far from where you are..." Putting my rhyming skills to use, we (Iggy and I) FINALLY finished putting our stuff away. Our apartment was neat and tidy, and we looked at eachother and grinned.

"Take out party?"

"Take out party."

I did a weird punching movement and sang, "YES! Let's invite everyone and YOU can pay, Iggy! Hahahaha. Lahhhhv you." I looked at him with the cutest look I could muster, and it must've been cute, because he sighed and gave in. TOLD you he was whipped.

Now, you might be wondering why Iggy's so nice to me. You see, I never wanted to leave San Fransisco, but he had to, so I agreed to be his meister, packed my shit, and here we were. I guess he felt guilty that I left home for him, but that's what best friends did, right? They also mooched off eachother, right? So I did both those things, ohoho.

I walked a few doors down to Soul and Maka's place and knocked on the door repeatedly until someone answered. It opened to an annoyed looking Soul, who said so kindly, "What do you want?"

"Oh, you silver-tounged devil, stop trying to seduce me!" I said with a high voice. "A-hem, anyways, I am cordially inviting you and your meister to this little soiree at our place to celebrate our finished product, code name H.O.M.E."

"Take out party?"

"Ahah... yeah," I said sheepishly. "Soul? Who's at the door?"

I looked down, and seriously started freaking out. There was a talking cat rubbing herself on Soul's ankles! I didn't know whether to talk back or pull out some string to play with her. I picked her up and started sneezing... oh yeah. Allergic to cats, fuck.

"This is Blair, are you okay?" Soul looked at me, probably because my eyes started watering like none other. "Uhhh, allergies, could you invite Black*Star and Tsubaki, dunno where they live, see you at eight, ACHOO." I waved a hand at him and rubbed my nose with the other. After that, I went home and took buttloads of allergy medication before going downstairs to invite Kid, Liz, and Patti.

As soon as I walked out of the door, I saw a kid riding his bike. I picked up a piece of wood nearby, threw it at him, and stole his bike when he fell off. "I'll return this someday!" I called as I rode off into the sunset- er, to Kid's house- er, mansion.

I knocked on the door, to have it answered by Kid, who opened both doors at once... figures. Anyways, I told him that he and his weapons were invited, to be there at eight, then I passed out. You must be wondering why. No, it wasn't because I was THAT hungry, but I guess that made sense too. Remember me taking a buttload of medication? Yeah, they weren't non-drowsy. Dammit. Anyways, I woke up not long after, to a huge pain in my eyes.

"Whaddafugghappened..." I said drowsily. Kid kind of smiled down at me (if I wasn't half asleep I would have hyperventilated) and said, "Uh, you passed out. And hit your eye. It started swelling, so I hit your other one so you would be symmetrical." "That's so sweet- wait, what! You punched out my other eye?" What a dick! Though I was oddly flattered. I would have swooned if I wasn't so mad! And I would have been mad if I wasn't seeing spots in one of my eyes.

"Aileen? Are... you alright?" Kid was _finally_ looking worried. I jumped up so I wouldn't worry him, me being the saint I am. "See you guys at eight. Smell ya later!" I walked my new bike home incase I passed out again, and it probably wasn't safe to ride a bike when you were going blind in one eye. It wouldn't suck so much if my eyesight wasn't so shitty already. But hey, now I only had to pay for half of my contacts. Cool.

"Iggy! Guess what!" I yelled as I kicked the door open. My mood had kind of plummeted on the way home, and I needed my slave to console me. "I'm blind in my left eye!" He looked at me seriously, then covered his mouth with his hand, trying not to laugh. "Is that why you look like a raccoon?" Oh yeah, I had TWO black eyes thanks to Kid. "Yeah, I hit my blind eye, then Kid hit my other one. Something about 'symmetry,' I guess," I shrugged. I was kind of sad, but hey, at least I wasn't fully blind. I went to the freezer and got an ice pack. I would look ridiculous at dinner that night, but I didn't really care.

Soul and Maka arrived first that night, because, hey, down the hall. Kid was next, arriving perfectly on time, except he was looking guilty. Liz and Patti looked annoyed with him, so I'm guessing they scolded him for making me look like a panda. Serves him right. Punching a lady.

"Aileen, I'm sorry..." Kid began, "I shouldn't have punched you, even if it was for symmetry."

"AH, it's awright!" I replied, slapping him on the back. "I would have done something like that too, even if it wouldn't have made someone symmetrical. And hey, it's not your fault I'm half-blind! That was the eye that I hit!" He looked surprised and said slowly, "You're... half-blind?" He looked kind of sorry for me. I didn't need his pity, just his love. Oho.

Black*Star and Tsubaki arrived last, with Black*Star yelling about getting the most attention that way. Tsubaki bowed and thanked us for inviting her, and Iggy was kind of blushing. IT WAS SO CUTE. I decided to become the Cupid of Death City and get these two together. All I needed was a plan. Soul looked at me and kind of smirked at my face. I had started grinning and spacing out, and I snapped out of it once I felt some drool dribble down my jaw. I wiped my chin with my sleeve and led everyone to the living room, where food was set out at the coffee table. It was Chinese. I put extra in the fridge in case they ate it all, so I had extra food for later. I would be hungry in an hour anyways, Chinese did that to me.

I sat in between Maka and Kid, with their weapons on the other side of them. Maka asked how I hit my left eye, seeing as she saw Kid apologize for my right one. I told her a huge adventurous tale, about how there was a giant two headed cat trying to steal my bike, and I killed it. That bitch. Soul just sat there, dumbstruck. Then he started laughing at my amazing story! I puffed out my cheeks and made faces at him. It only made him laugh more, since, you know, two black eyes and all.

Once Black*Star and Kid left, Maka and Soul made their way to the door. I walked with them to the door so I could lock it, when all of a sudden, Maka turned around and hugged me. I was surprised at first, then I relaxed and patted her on the back. "Thanks for dinner," she said. Soul and Iggy bumped fists, and I replied, "No problem, Maka. It's payback for the spaghetti." She smiled and walked off with Soul in tow.


	4. Norahhhhhh

**This chapter is haha. And I know, it kind of sucks, but this chapter was sort of a filler. Just a little homesickness, and a dog on top... voila! And don't worry, it'll get a bit more serious later.**

**Well, enjoy y'all. I'm going to upload the next chapter since this was so short. Woo woo.**

The next morning, I felt strange. Making new friends certainly wasn't hard here. In fact, I wasn't homesick at all. I didn't miss anyone in California, I actually felt like I had forgotten all the things I had done there. I was settling into this life of reaping evil souls and sparring with other students. I was oddly subdued when we walked into Stein's classroom.

I slumped down in a seat next to Kid, while Iggy sat between me and Tsubaki, hee hee.

"Is something wrong, Aileen?" I looked up to see that handsome, handsome man staring at me with his eyebrows scrunched up _symmetrically_.

How could I sum this up? "It's like the opposite of homesickness," I sighed. That didn't make sense. "I'm losing all the memories I had of my whole life." Kid looked surprised, but didn't venture further.

During lunch, I didn't eat, just picked at my food. Everyone sitting with me tried to do something funny, to cheer me up. Don't get me wrong, I was flattered that they would try to make me feel better. I was going through some sort of mood swing, though. I looked at Iggy.

"Are you forgetting too?" I asked.

"Yeah," he smiled. "But the memories we're making now seem a lot nicer, don't you think?"

"Iggy..." What he said... "That was so gay!" I laughed. It did make me feel better, though. Oh, Iggy.

That night, I just felt like staring out the window. The moon was so weird, but at least he didn't laugh. Just bled through his teeth. I kind of wanted to get a rocket and some giant floss so I could make his gums healthy, and he would stop bleeding. Geez Aileen, what happened to you? You just sounded like a five-year-old. Talkin' 'bout useless junk. I sighed.

That moon... was the same color as Death the Kid's eyes...

WHAT, NOW? Aw, hell naw. I was turning into some kind of _girl_ or something, and that was not okay. How could I even _think_ something like that? Back in San Fransisco, I didn't ever think like that, and that place was more romantic than here. What a silly thing to think, I didn't like how this move was turning out. Forgetting people, obsessing over an already obsessive guy. Stupid.

I hit myself in the head to dispel those weird thoughts. After a couple hits, Iggy called my name. "Aileen, there's a surprise for you here!" I forgot all about what just happened and ran out there. I tackled him and cried, "What is it, Iggy? THERE'S NO USE HIDING IT FROM ME, MAN."

All of a sudden, I heard a bark. I looked to my left to find a tan and white border collie with a pink nose and a blue and brown eye. Norah!

"Norah! I missed you so much!" I cried and hugged her around her neck. I buried my face in her fur and just started crying. It was weird. "Norahhhh... I'm so happy." She licked my face and I hugged her even tighter. Poor thing, it's a wonder she didn't die. Because I LOVE HER SO MUCH, YES I DOOOOO. Ahem. "Iggy, how...?"

"Some guy delivered her, said your friend Jonah couldn't take the drool."

I ran to the window, opened it, and cried, "I MISS YOU JONAH, THANKS BRO!" Somebody yelled at me and I narrowly dodged a belt buckle. What the fuck? Belt buckle. Anyways, I felt so much better.

The next day, I challenged five people to wrestling matches. Totally killed 'em. I WAS BACK, CHILDREN!

"Back to life, back to realityyy~"

"Aileen, shut up." That was everyone, haha.


	5. DATE?

On a Saturday morning, I woke up early (kill me) and took Norah out to do her doggy business. I was still in my pajamas, when none other than Death the Kid walked up.

...Shit. I threw my hood up to cover my hair (which looked dismal), and threw on my sunglasses, Ray Bans. Holla! I thought I was safe, but he ended up recognizing me. And I almost peed my shorts.

"Hey! Aileen!" Oh, god. I responded nonchalantly, "OH, HEY. NICE DAY RIGHT? Hahahaha..." His eyebrows were gone. His hairline had swallowed them, as he just kind of stared. I felt myself blushing under his gaze, I'm such a woman. "I see your eyes have healed." Oh yeah.

"Oh yeah! Well, the outside. I'm still half-blind. Which is okay, I guess, since I only have to pay for half the price for contacts. But I guess I can't watch 3D movies anymore," I said sadly. My head kind of dropped, because I still wasn't over that part.

I guess he saw my mood change and felt bad, because he was there when that shit went down, and kind of contributed to it. "Well, hey... how about I take you to dinner to make up for it?" I almost pissed my pants again, but Norah did that for me on a patch of grass along the sidewalk.

"IGGY!" My voice rang through our apartment.

Iggy was sitting on the couch, watching Anthony Bourdain on the Travel Channel. He was showing some people how to make a drink from shaved ice and Otter Pops. Good idea, hm. He looked back, head tilted, and said, "Did you forget to lock the door? Because, I did, and you got in." Har har. Fuck you Iggy. Some commercial came on, and a girl was eating orange ice cream. What flavor was that? Carrots? NOBODY LIKES ORANGE ICE CREAM. "Go fly a kite, Iggy. I have a date toniiiiiiight." I tried to do a little jig, but guess what, I'm blind on my left side and ran into the wall. "Maybe you should hang out with Tsubaki, you know, get to know her a bit better," I purred and waggled my eyebrows.

"Maybe you should shower, you smell like pee."

"Hey! That was Norah. I'm insulted."

That night, I went all out, for me atleast. I wore a floral print dress, wore my hair down, the whole shebang. Haha, I'm really not as hot as I make myself out to be.

I was waiting out in the hall, trying not to sweat. I decided to take my mind off my anxiety by thinking about shark poop(it was on Discovery channel earlier). It looked like any other poop. I wish they actually _showed_ the sharks pooping underwater. I've seen fish pooping at aquariums, that's it. Oh, and I saw monkeys peeing, they don't even care, they just sit and let it go. I saw a video of a frilled shark too. It looks like a shark and a snake made babies and came out all deformed. Serious.

"Aileen, is that you?" My head snapped to the side (ow), and I saw Soul Eater looking at me like I just grew another head, which I won't lie, would be pretty fucking badass. I could fall asleep while my other head was doing smart people stuff. "Oh, hey Soul."

"What's the occasion? Looks like you spent more than five minutes on your hair." So funny, Soul. Dirty twat. "Well, I'm going to dinner. With... Kid." His name must have been cursed or something, because he walked up right after I said it. I was starting to get kind of giddy, I just got invited to dinner by this sexy young adult boy... guy. "Ready? Bye, Soul." I waved back at him.

Well, I bet you were hoping it went well. It didn't. I found out Kid was even more neurotic than I thought he was. I knew he wasn't above punching someone, but then he freaked out when the waiter brought out a burger with more than eight seeds on the bun. What the fuck? I couldn't be tied down by this kid's damn sexy OCD! If it wasn't sexy, I would have just up and left then and there. But I endured, oh yes I did. Sexy joke very much intended.

I went home and sat down on the couch. It was early, so Iggy was surprised to find me home when he got back. He was hanging out with Tsubaki like I told him. Cupid of Death City, y'all. I was watching some show about Nikki Sixx from Motley Crue. That guy did so much drugs, it made me feel like a pussy for passing out from allergy medicine.

"Did it not go well?" Iggy sat down next to me on the couch.

"For Kid, maybe. The waiter let him verbally abuse him about cutting his hamburger into eight perfect pieces," I mumbled irritably. "Maybe there isn't anyone meant for me. Not anyone _cute_, anyways." I stood up from the sofa and stretched my limbs to get my blood a-pumpin'.

Iggy stood, ruffled my hair, and said, "Listen, Aileen. You couldn't find that mole on your butt if it moved to the other cheek. So just let it find you." That made sense... I guess. I was the proverbial cow and Kid was the proverbial moon. I was over him. Ha, didn't think I could pull out that deep shit, eh? That sounded worse than it was supposed to.


	6. THE SICKNESS

Aw, man. Iggy doesn't love me anymore!

Actually, I lied. He's going to San Fransisco for a week though, without me. He said he needed to finish up some business himself. I bet he was just going back to break a bunch of girls' hearts so he could get together with Tsubakiiiii. Heeheehee.

While my partner was gone, I decided to just spar and make myself stronger. There was always room for improvement somewhere, so I just trained everyday. I forgot to eat at lunch most of the time, it was so intense. I may be from the suburbs, but me and Iggy always wrestled, and I always won. Who's the meister here?

One morning that week, I woke up with a the back of my mouth tingling. It hurt to eat stuff that wasn't all the way chewed before I swallowed. And even though I was in the middle of a desert, I felt _cold_. Hm. I must've been getting old, I guess.

Throughout the day, I couldn't pay attention to the board, and my mind was all foggy. My mouth felt dry and my stomach felt weird. I thought my body was being taken over by little alien spies, or someone put crack in my orange juice. Plausible, yes. People transformed into _weapons_ around here, so why couldn't there be some crazy motherfucker out there to get me?

During training, I felt a little woozy, but being the hardcore ninja I was, I went up to fight anyways. I went up against this girl named Kim, and I felt confident since I knew her hand-to-hand combat was **BUTT**. Right when the match started, though, my legs gave out and she kicked me in my teeth. "OW PISS PISS PISS THAT HURT!" Nygus saw what happened and just gave the match to Kim. That cheating whore. She told me to sit on the bench and retrieved an ice pack for me.

After school, Soul walked home with me, since, you know, same building and all. Maka stayed behind in the library because she probably finished all her homework and was doing some light reading in the encyclopedia.

I had stopped talking the rest of the day, because my voice sounded like I had been smoking for 40 years. Either that or Ursula from The Little Mermaid, haha gross. Soul, who had been graced with the presence of my voice oh-so-much, seemed... worried, is what I would say. It was more like, "Aileen, you're not drilling a hole in my brain today, there must be something wrong because NOTHING can ever shut you up normally." Yes, kids, that's how it all went down. Poor me, I know.

I kind of glanced at him and grimaced, because my head was swimming again. Poopie. So I lurched forward somewhat, and he caught me by my arm. It really hurt, but I wasn't complaining, at least my face didn't get beat in twice in one day. Continuing now. Soul put my arm over his shoulder and helped me home. He even walked me in and laid me down on the couch, aww. I would have thanked him, but my eyes were being stupid and they closed when he was spreading a blanket over my body.

I awoke the next morning in my bed, in my pajamas. It was kind of freaky because I felt great, just kind of bleary since I just woke up. And also... pajamas? What the fuck! I got ready as quick as I could so I could inquire about who saw me in my undergarments while changing me, because I certainly didn't do it in my sleep. Once I caught sight of white hair walking with pigtails, I was like, "Hey! You! Wait up, woman!" Maka turned, surprised. "Oh, Aileen. Are you feeling better? You didn't look so well, so I dressed you in your pajamas for you." Soul was like, "..." and I just kind of stared.

Somewhere far, far away, Iggy's stupid senses were tingling. "Aileen, not again," he sighed.

Back to me. I felt Soul's forehead, and it was hot. A light turned on in my head and I smiled creepily. He loved meeeeeeee hee hee. He took care of me until Maka came home, and then and there, I decided to make him my new slave. Iggy could be head slave.

"Soul," I said quietly. "YOU'RE SO FUNNY!"

He started running as Maka was left in the dust, and I laughed like a fucking creeper as I chased after him. He'd pass out sometime. He had a fever, you know.

**The latest installment. Huuhuuhuu. It was short, yes, I know, but I don't have the attention span to make it longer.**

**And about Kim - I don't know how her hand to hand combat is. She's usually either using magic, blowin' shit up, or straddling Jacqueline when she flies. And I'm sorry for making Kim seem like a bitch. She's not. I think.  
As General Douglas McArthur said, "Bitches ain't shit."  
Wise words.**


	7. Oh Thunder

Iggy was still out of town, for whatever reason. Our fridge was almost empty as I ate everything in it, including Iggy's soy milk (chocolate flavored). I had nothing to do, seeing as my weapon was gone and I couldn't go on any missions.

I took Norah on a walk around town, so my metabolism didn't have a heart attack and die. Norah could've used some exercise too. You know how dogs walk on all fours? Well, her fat was hanging down, like some sort of curtain. Like a... meat... curtain. I felt bad for her, and we walked. During the walk, there was an advertisement for a new sandwich shop called Death Subs. I looked at the large poster and thought, "Yes." And so I did.

I took Norah's leash and pulled it left, so we turned onto the street in which this Death Subs was on. All I saw was a huge damn line, and thought, "No." And so I didn't. I was about to turn around when I saw Maka and Soul pushing through the crowd towards me. I waved at them as they got closer.

"Great weather, eh?" I pointed at the sky to prove my point. It was cloudy and it looked like it would rain... as long as that was it, I was fine. Maka nodded and said, "Looks like it'll thunder, always does once in a while when it's this time of year." I frowned. Shit.

"Aileen? Something wrong?" Maka voiced. Soul looked at me. "Ye-uhhh. I'm fine, I think." I was looking all far-off and troubled, I guess, because Maka and Soul just kept staring. "Aileen, are you... afraid of thunder?" I snapped out of my trance. I wasn't afraid, so much. Well, okay, I was afraid I would be hit by lightning when I was smaller, so I always tried to hide. I guess it just turned into some weird phobia over the years and never went away. "Let's walk home, shall we?" I smiled half-heartedly.

I turned on all our electronics that night so I wouldn't hear the thunder rumbling. I started watching a Bruce Willis movie so I could hear gunblasts, rather than scary rolling thunder in the background. I even tried to get Norah barking, when there was a knock on the door that scared the ever-living daylights out of me. It was about eleven at night so the first thing that came to mind was _raper/murderer/terriblererer._ There was a good possibility of that, it's true.

I opened the door with a golf club that I had acquired God-knows-where hidden behind my back, to find white hair and red eyes standing in front of me. What?

"Hey, are you okay? You didn't look so good earlier." I didn't look so _well _earlier, Soul. Have some grammer. "I-I'm fine." He obviously didn't believe me, since I had the radio, microwave, and television all on at once. "Can I come in? Maka's asleep."

I stepped aside and threw the golf club under the table so he wouldn't inquire why I had it to answer the door. I turned the microwave and radio off, and turned the TV down about 75 decibels before turning it off (have you ever turned it off when it was turned up all the way and turned it on later when you forgot about it? Scared the shit out of me). "Soul, did you need something? Like food? Because we're fresh out, so if that's what you're here for-" He cut me off by looking at me. "I thought I'd keep you company, since you're afraid of thunder and all."

"Hey! I'm not-!" I was cut off again by a flash of lightning in the background, followed a few seconds later by the familiar rumbling. I froze. He showed his stupid shark teeth in some stupid grin. "Hey, did you like Kid?" I was caught off guard by the question. Was he trying to use my fear against me for an interrogation? I knew this town was no good. I told Iggy we should've stayed in California. Fucking Iggy, never listens.

"Kid? Well... I did, he is sexy and all. B-but... that guy has too many problems. And besides, I have freckles everywhere. How is that symmetrical?" I shrugged, then scrambled for cover when another bolt of lightning flashed behind me. Norah was probably hiding under the bed, smart dog.

Soul was silent for a few seconds, then said, "Aileen. Stay right there. I'll be back in thirty seconds." Did that mean he was leaving the door unlocked? What if a creeper just waltzed on in and stole my golf clubs? I needed those. Soul was a lot of things, but he wasn't a liar, I guess, since I heard him open and close the door again. I peered over the back of the couch to see him carrying a milk crate that had records in it. Did he drink all that milk so he could have somewhere to put his records?

"I noticed you had that record player in your living room, so I brought my music over. I think it would help with the thunder." He pulled one out that had some old guy with a mean looking face on the cover. He looked familiar... Beethoven? "My family had me take piano my whole life, and I recieved this from my teacher to help me get into it," Soul explained. When he put the needle on the record, Moonlight Sonata came on. "It's a collection of Beethoven's most popular piano songs."

I had covered the couch in thick comforters earlier so I could hide myself and block out the thunder better. Soul pushed them aside and sat next to me. He had dark circles under his eyes. Why? Was he tired? Did he stay up late just to comfort me? I mean, I knew he was in love with me (teehee) but I didn't know he was in _love_ with me. Or maybe he just couldn't sleep either.

"Soul?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you. I mean, for helping me when I was sick. And now. I'm... really sorry I'm such a bother." He better be happy. I'll thank him for that... and that's it. Weenie.

"Hmph. I know," he said. He took advantage of my vulnerableness... ness, put his arm around my shoulder, and pulled my head towards him. "What-!"

"Calm down. You need to fall asleep." I was tireder than I thought, and he made a pillow out of all the comforters. He was lucky there were blankets there, or I would've drooled all over his stupid lap.

I saw a few flashes through my eyelids, but the music drowned out the thunder that came after. That was all I remember before I fell asleep, for the first time during a thunderstorm since... ever.

You're good, Evans. I give you that.


	8. Return

**I wasn't going to post another one today, but my fangirl weeaboo nature finally got the best of me. I couldn't resist.**

**Guess what, there's a grey cloud over my house. Is it going to rain? Fuck if I know. All I've been doing with my last week of freedom is listen to music from Kill Bill and watch Kick-Ass(that movie is so fucking badass). All you young folks out there need to savor your summer, and when high school is about to end, you won't want it to end. I'm about to cry typing this. Damn, I'm a weiner.  
Does anybody want to go to one of those churches in the deep south? Just found my new life goal.**

**I don't want to graduate. Nobody wants to deal with the real world. I just want to watch Fantasy Factory the rest of my life. Sorry this wasn't fun.  
****ENJOY KIDS.**

"Iggy, you asshole, what took you so long?" I interrogated my best friend as I buried my head in his sternum. "There was a thunderstorm, and a bunch of ninjas trying to assassinate me, and I had to eat _orange_ ice cream! Nobody fucking likes orange ice cream, Iggy. IT'S TOO ADVENTUROUS." It's true. What is it, anyways. Carrots? CARROTS?

"...How about I treat you to some dinner?" Iggy scratched the back of his head.

I grinned, "There's a new sandwich shop! C'mon!"

When I walked in, I was bombarded by a blue and grey blob. Gross. "Oh, hello Iggy! Hello, Aileen," Tsubaki called from behind Black*Star. "I see you're back from California." God, grow a dick Iggy, ask the girl out.

"OH-HO! I see you've found me at me new haunt! People are naturally attracted wherever I go," Black*Star yelled really close to my ear. Trying to make me half-deaf now? God dammit.

"Orrrr, it's a new restaurant. I'd assume people would go here to check it out, try something new," I mumbled flatly.

Me and Iggy ordered and sat down with Black*Star and Tsubaki, while the former of the two told me about his adventures and missions. He spit sandwich crumbs on me.

_I wonder what I would look like if I was Chinese or something, dayummm this meatball sub is fucking bomb._

We stayed there for all of fifteen minutes while we ate and talked, and Tsubaki and Iggy fell harder and harder into young puppy love. She better not try to make him her slave, I'd slap a bitch. I had faith in her though, she seemed like a nice lady.

We all walked to BS (my new nickname for Black*Star) and Tsubaki's house, because I still didn't know where they lived, damn. On the way, BS and I got in an argument over our first fight (when I kicked him in the balls, haha) and whether I won fair and square. I stomped on his foot, he punched my head, I tackled him and started slapping him, he punched my nose, that dick. Iggy and Tsubaki pulled us off eachother, and his lip was bleeding, while my nose was bleeding onto his shirt. Heehee.

Afterwards Iggy hugged Tsubaki goodnight, and I flicked Black*Star off while sticking out my tongue. He opened his mouth to say something when Tsubaki waved goodnight and shut the door.

On the way home, I was humming the Mortal Kombat theme and skipping along the sidewalk. All of a sudden, a drunk homeless guy called out to us. Aw, sweet! I hadn't seen one since I moved. He was like, "Hey, where does space eeeeeeeeeennnnnd?" "It's always expanding, it NEVER ENDS," I replied, and as I walked by, he stabbed my foot with a fork. What a horrible night.

"OW WHAT THE HELL!" Iggy kicked him in the face and transformed into his shotgun form. The homeless guy pulled off his clothes (indecent exposure much?) and revealed himself as an afreet dude. Asshole. I cocked Iggy(heehee) and braced my finger on the trigger. "Ya dun goofed, sir. Your soul is being backtracked by the tracing department. The consequences will never be the same," I said in some sort of hick accent before I pulled the trigger. He fucking died. That bitch.

"Are you okay, Aileen? How do you feel?" Aw, Iggy was worried. I looked up and smiled at him. "I feel dun good, darlin'."

Iggy helped me limp back to our apartment, luckily there was an elevator goin' up thurr.

When we reached our floor, Soul and Maka were on their way to our apartment since they heard Iggy came home, I guess. Well, that was their excuse, they just wanted to see me (see: foogin' awesome).

Maka gasped, "Oh my god! What happened, Aileen?" Soul looked surprised, and helped Iggy carry me inside. "Hobo... foot... afreet... stab..." I panted. I was turning even whiter than usual, I was losing like a pint of blood dammit!

Soul sat next to me and was all useless and junk, while Iggy disinfected my foot, and Maka bandaged it. We all stayed up late and watched one of those shows where people get paid thousands of dollars to make cakes that looked like Elvis and stuff. I wanted an awesome cake! With me as a marine biologist, wearin' some swashbuckling boots and high-fiving a manatee.

I finally fell asleep, but not before recounting my tale to Soul and Maka.

"Constant vigilance," I concluded, and fell asleep there on the couch.

Welcome home, Iggy.


	9. Judey Jude Jude

**K GAIS I'M BACK. So what's new with you? I'm starting school tomorrow, shitshitshit.  
No seriously.  
Anyways. I started a new story hahaha because I like to suffer. Don't worry though. I wrote like ten more chapters of this story, so I won't be swampedddded.**

**So thanks to those who reviewed and such, YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE.  
Lahhhhv you.  
P.S. This chapter is ghey  
P.S.S. Hi.**

It took a while for my foot to heal, but I could walk on it after a couple of days. Since Iggy came back, we decided we should finally start some missions and kick some afreet ass.

"Hey, let's do this one, there might be sheep there still," I pointed to a mission that had to do with cleaning out a farm. Apparently a farmer went crazy, killed his family, and ate their souls. I decided then to never settle out in the boonies.

"We should hijack that tractor, this would go wayyy faster!"

"Aileen, you know that your driving is butt," Iggy mumbled to me. "And besides, our target's righhhhht..." he stuck out his tounge and pointed to the house, where the silhouette of someone was in one of the windows, "...there." Aw. Balls.

"Aw, so soon? Fine," I held out my hand, while Iggy transformed and landed in my palm. I walked up to the front door and knocked. An old guy with missing teeth and thinning hair answered. "Whaddya want?" he growled irritably. Dick.

"Hello, sir, mah name is Peggy from Girl Scout troop 42-42," I said while holding Iggy behind my back. "I was wondering if you'd like to buy some SAMOAS." I kicked him in the stomach as I said the last word.

He flew back into the kitchen and hit a floral printed wall. He dove under the kitchen table once I shot at him, and pulled out a fucking MACHETE? Seriously, how the fuck did this guy get a machete on a farm? It would be badass if I wasn't so fucking pissed about it!

"DAMMIT MACHETE," I cried. Luckily I had a gun because I shot the guy in the sternum. His body dissolved to reveal a red soul. OUR FIRST MISSION!

Iggy transformed back into a person, grabbed the soul, and ate that thing in one bite. Woo woo.

"Hey, look, there's a picture of his family," I said as I pointed out a framed photograph hanging on the wall. They were beautiful. That prick.

"Let's go home, Aileen."

"W-wait, please!" What? Who?

We looked to the kitchen doorway to see a little boy with pretty blue eyes and jet black hair. He was also rather pale. My eyes lit up with recognition. He was that old man's son! "Is he dead?"

"Yeah, he won't hurt you anymore," Iggy smiled at the boy. "What's your name?"

"I'm Jude," the boy said. "That man... looked like my papa, but he wasn't my papa. Papa wouldn't do all those things. So I hid, and stole food when I got hungry."

Tears built up in my eyes. That was so sad...

"Hey, Jude. I have no idea how much pain you went through. Nothing like that's ever happened to me, but... I can take care of you. I'll protect you, I promise. My name is Aileen," I said as I held out my hand. Tears were rolling down my cheeks as I grinned at him. "I'm Iggy," came Iggy's voice from my left side. "DANGIT IGGY, DON'T DO THAT. You know I can't see you on my left side." Scared the shit out of me, he did.

Jude smiled at our antics and took my hand. I've never had a little brother before. We walked outside to see the full moon illuminating the whole field.

"So, Jude, do you know how to drive the tractor?" I asked hopefully.

"...No, I'm only seven." Story of my life. I never get anything I want.

"Jude! Juuuuuude!" I squinted my eyes to see a figure running towards us. "Jude! I'm so glad you're okay!" A middle-aged woman stopped in front of us and put her hands on her knees, catching her breath.

Once she was okay she grabbed Jude's hand. "Come with me, hun. Your father won't hurt you anymore, and you can come live with us.

"Ah- wha- but-" I stammered. Who did this bitch think she was?

"I'm Leah Johannsen, Jude's neighbor. I'll be taking care of him now, so please go home. Thank you," she said rudely and dragged Jude off. He kind of waved sadly back at us.

"Jude..." I whispered and looked down. I promised I'd protect him. I fell back on my rump and let my head hang. I felt a hand on my head and looked up to see Iggy smiling.

"You promised, right? Well, don't break it. Let's go." He took his hand off my skull and held it out for me to take. I grinned and took it, and he pulled me up.

I had found out where that crazy lady lived, and that she put Jude in the second story bedroom of her stupid house. I ran to the side wall and tried climbing up to the window. Didn't work. I kept at it for about ten minutes before Iggy cleared his throat.

"Here's a ladder. Figured it might have helped." Oh. God dammit. I placed it against the house and climbed up to Jude's window. Luckily it was open.

"Psst! Jude!" I whispered. "Psst! PSST! JUDE!" He finally looked to the window, surprised.

"Aileen? What are you doing here?" He was all wide-eyed. What a fucking cutie.

"I came here to keep my promise! C'mon!" I winked and held out my hand.

"Jude? What's all that racket?" Shit. We heard someone stomping up the stairs. "Hurry, Jude! Get over here!" He ran over and climbed on my back, and I slid down the ladder.

"Stay on my back, okay? We're bookin' it," I grinned. Iggy and I ran into the field as fast as we could with the moonlight on our backs, and Jude laughing. In the distance, we heard that Johannsen bitch calling Jude's name and swearing. Haha.

We caught the train back to Nevada and found an empty compartment. Jude fell asleep next to me and Iggy sat across from us. I watched the sun rise out the window before falling asleep myself.


	10. Don't Send The Searchlights

"Wake up, Jude! First day of school!" I yelled. He rubbed his eyes and sat up. My grinning face was inches from his own. BECAUSE I WAS SO EXCITED. He would be in a younger class in Shibusen so I was waiting for him to get up and ready so we could walk together.

We walked (Iggy, Jude and I) out the door to be greeted by Soul and Maka. "Good morning, Aileen!"

"Hey. Who's the kid?" Soul said rudely. What a dick.

"He's not a kid, he's Jude," I said just as rudely. "Let's go.

I walked in front of the group with Jude holding on to my hand. I glared at Soul over my shoulder then looked forward. My face broke out in a huge content grin when I glanced down at Jude. He was such a cutieeeee. Ahhhh.

We walked up the steps, where I had to separate with Jude.

"Okay, be good, honey. I packed your lunch in your backpack. Make lots of friends! Hey! Get off me, Soul! Leggo! HAVE A GOOD DAY, JUDE! BYE BYE! BYYYEEEEEE!" Soul had grabbed my arm while I was doting on Jude and dragged me off.

"Soul, what are you doing? Are you jealous or something?"

"Aileen. What are you doing with a kid?" He looked really freaked out. Did he think I was his mom? Hurr hurr.

I covered my mouth with my hand and snickered. "I saved him, Soul. What do you think I am, some teenage hoebag?"

"Don't be so uncool, Aileen." He looked hurt. What the fuck. Stop acting like a girl, Soul.

I ignored him the rest of the day. It was his fault, anyway. Turd.

After school, I walked out to the entrance to find some little girls crowding around something. It waved at me and I realized that something was Jude. I smiled and waved at him and he ran over. His cheeks were flushed with excitement. HOW CUTE. Iggy waved at me and said something about having hot steamy sex with Tsubaki- wait, what?

"I'll be home later tonight. See you, Aileen, Jude." And with that, he was off.

"Hey, Aileen?"

"Yeah, Jude?"

"I met this other guy named Isaac. He invited me to dinner. Could I...?" All alone tonight, awwwwwwww.

"Go ahead, Jude. See you later tonight, then," I smiled.

When I got home, I was greeted by my beautiful dog, Norah.

"Just us tonight, eh girl?" She licked my nose. There was a knock at my door. WHO COULD IT BEEEE? Haha, just kidding. I had a pretty good idea.

"Oh, hello, Maka," I said, unsurprised.

"Aileen! I was wondering if you needed a study buddy," she grinned.

"HOW'D YOU KNOW, MAMA BEAR," I gawked.

"Well, Soul is in a bad mood so I thought we could hang out and bond. And you're allergic to Blair, huh?"

"I see. Yeahhh, I've always had bad reactions to felines, but it might have been Soul's piss poor attitude," I said as I gestured Maka in and led her to the living room. I made us some lemonade while she found the page in our books that we were assigned.

"You see, you do this, then this, then this. Do you get it?"

"Uh, yeah," I lied. I was going to fail the next test fo sho.

I looked at the clock on top of the TV. It was getting late... I was starting to worry about Jude. What if he got lost? "Well, Aileen. Looks like I better get home. Hopefully Soul's cooled off by now." She waved and walked out the door. I waited for another half hour before really getting worried about Jude.

_Iggy must still be at Tsubaki's. Doing... ew. I'll just go look for Jude, then._

I put on my jacket and walked out the door. "Guard the house, Norah. If Iggy comes home, bite him, kay?" I patted her on the head and closed the door before locking it.

I slipped a note under Maka and Soul's door as well, just incase Jude came home while I was out.

Outside, the roads and buildings were twilit, clouds were coming in, and people were starting to close up their shops. I ran down the street and looked everywhere for Jude, passing Kid's house and Shibusen. I should have asked where Isaac lived.

"Maka, what's this note at the door?"

"I don't know. Go ahead and read it, I'm making dinner."

_Soul, Maka,_

_I went out to find Jude. He went to a friend's house for dinner and hasn't come home yet. If he does, please let him into my house and tell him to stay there. Thank you. And sorry, Soul._

_Aileen_

"Looks like it's gonna rain, huh, nya," Blair said while she was cleaning herself with her paw. "Maybe even thunder."

Soul stared out the window. "Aileen...!" He grabbed his shoes and walked to the kitchen to give the note to Maka. "I'll be back. Save me some dinner." With that, he left.

In the hallway, he saw Jude. "Oh, Soul."

"Aileen is looking for you."

"Really? Isaac's mom burnt dinner and had to start over, so it took really long. I'm sorry," he started to tear up. Soul placed his hand on his head.

"Jude, you're a good boy. I like you, even if you are uncool. I'm going to find Aileen now, so just go inside."

_Crash._

"What? Thunder?" I looked up to the sky. Raindrops started to hit my face. I had to find Jude... soon.

"Jude, where are are you?" The rain was pouring even harder. My hair went limp under the weight of the water. There was a flash and then another bang. "Ah!"

I wanted to hide, but... I promised Jude. I couldn't give up. Another flash of lightning. _Crash._

My knees gave out and I covered my head with my hands. I clenched my eyes shut, then opened them again. _No... Jude. I'll find you._ I stood up and ran down the street, looking on all sides for black hair and blue eyes.

_"Aileen!"_ I looked towards the direction of the voice. Was someone... calling me? _I must have imagined it. It didn't sound like Jude, anyhow._

"Aileen!" There it was again. I stopped in the middle of the street. _Crash._

My legs were shaking. "Aileen! There you are." Oh, Soul. What was he doing here? Idiot, trying to catch a cold or something? Was he looking for Jude too? "Hey, Soul. Any sign of him?"

"Aileen, he's home. I was looking for _you_," he said, then pulled me close. I pushed him back. "I have to pee. Rain and fright, you know. Let's go," I said and linked my arm with his.

He grinned down at me and we ran home. We got fucking soaked.

"I'm home," I said as I walked in the doorway. Jude was instantly in front of me with towels. "Are you okay, Aileen? I'm so sorry."

I got down on my knee and patted his head. "It's alright. I'm glad you're okay." I hugged him and made his jammies all soaked. Haha.

"Iggy called too. He's staying at Tsubaki's tonight."

Gross.


	11. Better Than Cleaning

"It's so great to have a break once in while," I sighed. "OH YEAH, WE AREN'T HAVING ONE." I was stomping around the house and fuming. Our home had gone to shit since there were two guys, a dog, and a girl with a love for destruction living there.

My hair was pulled back by a bandanna and I was wearing ratty clothing to clean my room. I started with... the closet (cue Psycho music). I was going to start under the bed but something fucking bit me. Seriously. I think it was a snake. I opened the door and a heavy book fell on top of my head. "OUCH FRIGGIN HELL DAMMIT WEINER oh what's this?"

My stream of random words ended when I looked at the cover of the book. _Peter Pan by J.M. Barrie_ was written in fancy gold print on a hardcover brown book. I opened it to the first page where a message was written in black ink.

_Aileen, may you always remain young at heart, like our friend Peter Pan here. Never lose that childish wonder. See you in Neverland._

_ Grandma Leenie_

I smiled and turned the page again, on which there was a large black spot. I tried to rub at it with my finger and make it come off, when my hand became stuck to the page. I attempted to throw the book away from me then, but it was stuck.

The recoil then revealed that my hand had disappeared in the black smudge, and the book was slowly swallowing my wrist up next. I kept shaking it and trying to dislodge my hand from the book, but that only made it progress further, until it made it up to my shoulder, and then just swallowed the rest of me up.

I was in a completely pitch dark place and couldn't see anything, not even my hand held up in front of my face. _Don't tell me I'm completely blind now._ It was then that I saw a small sliver of light beneath me. Cracks were forming beneath my feet and letting bright light in. The cracks progressed until the floor gave under my weight and I fell through. I braced myself for impact, but I ended up landing on a bed.

I looked at my surroundings and found I was in a nursery of sorts. There were toys scattered about, and two beds aside from the one I had landed on. I looked at the beds again to find that there were two familiar heads poking out from the covers. _Iggy and Jude? I am... confused, to say the least. Where am I?_

I suddenly heard somebody fiddling with the window latch, so I pulled the covers to my chin and pretended to be asleep.

"Losing your shadow... how uncool." I smirked at the familiar voice. Iggy and Jude woke up to the sound of the windows opening. I sat up and said, "Hey, couldn't you take your shadow _quietly_? Fucking rude."

Surprise, surprise, it was Soul... dressed in all green. Floating next to his head was a fairy with pigtails. Maka-bell? _So... Peter Pan's story and mine have become intertwined? THAT'S SO FUCKIN RAD._ "Would you like to help me attach that bad boy?" I asked Peter Eater(heehee). I looked in the top droor of the dresser across the room and there was the shadow, along with a staple gun. Good thing too, my sewing made shit look like Stein's face.

"Stay still," I said as I grabbed his foot and started stapling his shoe and the shadow's shoe together. "Consider this payback for all the times you helped me out," I grinned.

"Thanks, but... we've never met." Oh. Ouch.

"Alright. Well, you can't say I never helped you then," I frowned.

He looked at me strangely. "Hey, do you know any cool stories?"

I looked down. "Iggy, Jude," my voice was oddly quiet. "Our names are Michael and John, silly. And you're Wendy."

My face must've looked really weird, because everyone was just kind of staring at me. "You must be Peter Pan," I smiled. I decided to pretend to be Wendy, and maybe I would find a way back home. "I do know some stories, actually." 

"Alright! Tink, why don't you give them some fairy dust?"

We were covered in some sparkly gay shit before we started floating. Iggy and Jude were surprised at the turn of events. I wasn't. Who doesn't know how Peter Pan goes?

Soul led us out the window and above a town that I recognized as London. I wish I could've stayed on the ground and explored the city, but I knew that I had to go to Neverland. We flew through the clouds and in the direction of a very large star.

It grew very bright, and I closed my eyes to block out the blinding light. When I opened them again, we were in Neverland. "C'mon. Come meet the Lost Children!" Soul led us to his hideout in a tree, where there were six familiar faces. They all had the faces of Ox, Harvar, Kilik, Black*Star, and Pot of Fire and Thunder. Obviously, they wouldn't have responded to those names.

"I brought them here when they were lost in Kensington Gardens. Meet Tootles, Nibs, Slightly, Curly, and The Twins." He pointed from left to right. "They're cool, but not as much as me."

I kept myself from rolling my eyes at his childishness. "My name is Wendy. This is John," I pointed to Iggy, "and this is Michael," I pointed to Jude. It was a little surreal when I knew their names from real life, and I had to call them another name. Maka was glaring at me. I knew that's how Tinkerbell acted, but it made me a little uneasy when she had the face of one of my good friends.

The "Lost Children"(children because Pot of Thunder was a girl) all sat around me as I told them all the Disney movies I knew. I was halfway through The Little Mermaid when Soul interrupted me rudely. "How about we go catch us some Indians?" I guess we had to save Tiger Lily, huh. I wondered who would be the one dressed up as the chief's daughter.

Jude and Iggy happily played with the Lost Children as they crept through the forest, looking for anyone with a tomahawk or moccasins. Soul took me to the Mermaids' Lagoon, which I was pensive about going to. I knew the mermaids would be little hoebags to me. When we arrived, we saw Kid out on a rock. He was stranded, while the mermaids were taunting him.

Upon closer inspection, I saw that Kid had two symmetrical braids, a headband with a feather on each side of his head, symmetrical facepaint, and moccasins in perfect shape. Still had those stripes on his head, though. Hahaha. The mermaids were all girls from Shibusen. They all hissed and tried splashing me, while I got a good look at the faces of Liz, Patty, Kim, Jacqueline, and Tsubaki, complete with mermaid tails and sea shells on their tits.

Soul grabbed Kid and we left. I stuck out my tongue at the mermaids, while they were screaming at us as we flew towards the Indians' place.

The Lost Children, Iggy, and Jude were tied to a stake in the middle of all the teepees. I saw that the Indian chief was in fact Lord Death himself. He had the body of a regular human, but he still had those weird hands, and his skull mask with face paint on it. He was sitting cross-legged. Soul gently put Kid back on the ground and Shinigami released everyone else, thanking us for returning his daughter(?) Tiger Lily.

Soul had went on ahead home to apologize to Maka for something, and I had a bad feeling. It was amplified when we found ourself surrounded by pirates, captured, and hauled off. We were thrown in a sack and tossed out onto a wooden ship. I looked up to find Stein. Dressed up as a pirate. With a scalpel for a hand.

Dressed in a striped shirt and red cap was Maka's father, Spirit. Seriously, what drugs did I _do_ before this?

"Now, children, you'll have to let me dissect you, or you'll be walking the plank," Stein said monotonely. Spirit had Maka in a lantern, fawning over her. "Your pigtails are so prettyyyy."

I frowned at the situation. Maka had to get out, somehow. I remembered that she had to tell Soul to come and save us. This wasn't how it happened. Stein pushed me towards the plank, where a giant snake was waiting below. Instead of a real tongue, it had an arrow, and its scales were covered in even more arrows. Maka was still trapped. How would I get out of this one? I stepped further on to the plank.

Stein kept poking me with his stupid scalpel until I was at the edge of the plank. I sighed, then turned to him.

"Let everyone go, please. I don't care if you want to dissect me or whatever. Just leave everyone else be. I'll do anything," I said determinedly. I wouldn't let it end this way. All childrens' tales were supposed to have a happy ending.

Stein smiled, then grinned, then laughed.

"I-it's not funny! Let them go!"

"You passed."

"I said- what?"

"You passed!" Everyone was untied. They began to cheer. "You passed! You passed!" The Indians were dancing on the shore, the mermaids were waving and smiling, and Maka was freed. She kissed me on the cheek.

"You did it, Aileen," said a familiar voice. "There's someone who wants to see you." Soul held his hand out to me and I took it.

We flew to a small house- what looked like a child's playhouse or a cute shed. He let go of my hand and I slowly walked to the entrance. I opened the door and gasped at what I saw. I ran forward and hugged my grandmother, who was sitting on the small bed inside.

"Did you have fun, my love?" She smiled and stroked my head. "It looks like you've made so many wonderful friends."

"Grandma Leenie! I miss you so much," I said into her shoulder. "Am I dead, too?" I sat up and looked at her with tears running down my cheeks.

She laughed. "No, dear. You're in Neverland, where nobody grows old. I wanted to see you before you woke up."

"Before I... woke up...?"

A tear rolled down my cheek when I opened my eyes. My room was still a mess, and the book that I had found was on the table next to my bed. I stared at the ceiling before looking at my clock.

"Oh, it's almost time for school. WAIT, WHAT." I got dressed quickly and put my shoes on. Before leaving the room, I looked back at the book and smiled. "See you, grandma."

Iggy and Jude were ready and waiting for me. "Ready, finally?"

"NO COMMENTS FROM THE STUPID GALLERY," I called when I ran out of the house. I passed everyone who was in my dream on the way. As they called my name, I waved before I disappeared in the distance. In the entrance hall of Shibusen, Shinigami and Spirit were talking. I waved at them before rushing to class. "What's got that girl in such a good mood?" Shinigami held an oversized finger to his mask.

I ran into the classroom and grinned. Stein looked at me strangely, to which I just smiled and stared.

"Uh, what are you doing?" 

"Good mooooooorning, doctor." Staaaaaaare.

_Okay, I'm done._

I skipped up the steps and sat in between Soul and Maka.

"What's with you?" Soul, leaning his chair on its back legs, looked at me boredly.

"I got to see my grandma."

"Oh? She's in town?" Maka took her nose out of a book.

"Nope. She died of cancer not too long ago, but she came and visited me." Maka looked confused, but Soul glanced over and smiled.

"You had that dream too?"


	12. Montage, Bitches

**Filler, anyone? Oh geez I just got back from a weekend camp and now I am watching Nat Geo Wild and there is some crazy shit going on.  
They are helping an injured barn owl and it is so sad :(  
Oh hey, I smashed my finger in a door Friday and now the nail is coming off. Gross.**

**Read the Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath. Shit gets real in that book.  
AP English is stealing my soulllll.**

It came to be known across the land that the seasons were changing, from the subtle tempurature drops, to the not-so-subtle saving of the daylight's time.

Ah, who am I kidding. It was almost November, which meant Thanksgivinggggggggg...

I loved the holidays, and I loved my new friends, but I had to see my family. In San Fransisco. Iggy and I packed and Tsubaki agreed to take care of Jude, much to the dismay of Black*Star("I have to SHARE my food?").

We boarded a train that would take us to Oakland(right outside of San Fransisco), after saying goodbye to our friends. I found it extremely awkward giving people goodbyes. If it was just a regular "see you later" and one of us died, I would NOT see them later. But if it was drawn out and heartwarming, I would never live it down. You see my dilemma?

Anyways, it was weird walking into a home that I wasn't sharing with my best friend/weapon and other best friend/little brother and my dog/dog. "Aileen! It's so good to see you!" My mom wrapped her arms around me in a hug and I patted her back awkwardly. I greeted my father, aunt, uncle, and cousins, since they were staying there for Thanksgiving dinner.

It felt kind of claustrophobic sharing a home with my immediate and extended family, since everyone was pretty much on top of eachother in our modest-sized house.

My cousins and I were watching The Little Mermaid on VHS (best movie ever), when my mom called me in the kitchen. She crossed her arms and pouted out her lip. "I feel like you never talk to me anymore, Aileen. What's been going on?" I scratched the back of my head in thought. "Oh, didn't I tell you I was half blind?"

"You're joking," she said seriously.

"I'm serious. I took too many allergy pills one day and I passed out and hit my eye," I shrugged.

"Well... you're okay, then?" I nodded my head. She took it quite well.

"Alright... any booooooooys?" She waggled her eyebrows. Oh, mom.

I took serious thought into this question. I did like Kid at first, but that turned out to be a bust. Black*Star was just... fucking retarded. Soul? That was a good question. "I can't think of anyone, really," I answered truthfully. I would analyze my memories of Soul later, to determine whether feelings(love or not) were mutual between us.

I sat in my room and went through a montage of memories between me and Soul. After about the third memory, I found the proof I was looking for. A memory of him helping me when I was sick and Iggy was out of town, and the next day my fever was gone and he had one. Like he stole it from me or something. LIKE I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT HE DID THERE.

My creepy laugh echoed around the room, until it got louder and the rest of my family stared at the hallway leading to my bedroom. My mom sat in the kitchen, sipping a cup filled with chai tea.

"Ah, young love," she sighed dreamily.

A week passed, and I decided that I had outstayed my welcome. I called Iggy to meet him at the train station before our train left. After even more awkward goodbyes, I took the bus to the train station and yelled Iggy's name when I saw him.

"Ready to go back?" I nodded.

"I know this is my real home... but for some reason, I feel more at home in Death City. Weird."

I looked back on the memory of Soul and I, and giggled. Hehehe. Soul liked me. And maybe I liked him back.

We stepped onto the train.


	13. Shalalalalala

**Ah, herro. So, this is short. And sort of cheesy squeezy.  
But for the masses, I have created... FLUFF. :D :D**

**Yes, this chapter and the next were written to satisfy my fangirl weeaboo nature. What what! So, yes. Here we go.**

It was really hard trying not to act like a giggling girl-lady whenever I saw Soul. How did he not spontaneously combust?

After about 48 hours of it sitting in my brain, it started to lose the novelty. I stopped blushing like crazy and just kept my mouth shut when I felt the word vomit(thanks Mean Girls) coming on.

At first, I would get really weird and thought he was trying to make out with me whenever he stood next to me. But after I almost fell out of my seat during class when he reached over to borrow my eraser, I found that got very tiring. If he wanted to make a move, he would. And I probably wouldn't stop him. Probably.

I decided to forget about my feelings for a minute and involve myself in other people's affairs. Iggy and Tsubaki _still_ weren't making things official and I was starting to get impatient. So, I schemed in my bedroom, rather than doing homework.

Jude came into my room to tell me that dinner was ready, to find me with my back to him, sitting cross-legged on my bed. I slowly turned my head towards him with a creepy grin on my face and eyes devoid of emotion.

"Huhuhuhuhu..."

"I-I see you aren't hungry, Aileen. I'll just put some in the fridge for you!" He sprinted out of my room and slammed the door.

The next morning, Tsubaki found a letter on her doorstep. "Who could it be from?" she said with a red face after reading it. Although, she had a pretty good idea.

Around the same time, Iggy found a note on the counter addressed to him. He read it quickly before frowning, confused. "Something's fishy. This is too bold for her..." Haha, who says that something is "fishy" anymore? I love you, Iggy.

I walked up to Soul at school and tapped him on the shoulder. "Good sir, I was wondering if you would assist me in one of my genius plans." He looked at me warily.

"Depends on what it is... and what I get in return," he said slowly.

I pouted. "The satisfaction of helping your friends should be enough, but I guess you could name your price. So will you do it?"

"I guess. What is it?" I grinned before whispering in his ear sweet nothings- er, my plan, I mean. Yeah.

That evening, in a cute little restaurant only found in Death City, two unexpecting people became interwoven in my web of love. Tsubaki and Iggy sat nervously across from eachother, while I hid in the shadows and pulled strings. Soul had told me he played piano- he even used it for resonances and amplifying Maka's power. I persuaded him(took about three hours) to play a song for my unraveling genius plan.

After the two lovebirds ordered their food and their drinks were poured, I cued Soul and he began playing a familiar tune. The night before, I had gone to a music store to buy a piano arrangement for an American classic- Kiss the Girl. Iggy looked around suspiciously as he recognized the song. _Sounds like Aileen's been busy._ He smiled before reaching over for Tsubaki's hand- and knocking over her drink. It splashed onto her front before he began apologizing profusely.

"That wasn't supposed to happen," I whispered. Tsubaki looked near tears when she stood up and ran out of the restaurant. Iggy swore before taking off after her. I stood in the doorway and looked in the direction they ran off. My shoulders slumped sadly.

"Good going, Aileen. Your plan didn't turn out coolly at all," Soul said sarcastically.

I hung my head. "I was supposed to help them," I said quietly. "Mission failed..." Soul looked at me before speaking.

"You saw that he ran after her, right?"

"Oh! Mission... sort of accomplished." I smiled a bit.

"I hope you didn't forget that you owe me payment."

I looked at Soul curiously. "What do you want...?"

"Dinner. Take me to dinner. I'm hungry now, anyways." Fair enough.

We walked to Death Subs(my new favorite restaurant) and I paid for the both of us. While we ate, I tried to keep my eye contact with the wall behind Soul's head. I still felt kind of goofy when my body was within a five-foot perimeter of a certain scythe/boy/pianist/twat(I didn't mean that last part), and I didn't want to make myself seem weirder than I already was.

After walking to our apartment building, Soul and I stood outside of my door. "Thanks for your help, Soul. Even if it turned out like it did," I sighed.

He smirked. "I think that I deserve more payment, but that's just me."

I scowled. Seriously?

"Fine, I'll tell you a juicy secret. Come closer." I beckoned him towards me with my index finger. He brought the side of his face closer to mine. I quickly pressed my lips to his temple before running inside and slamming the door.

I threw myself on the couch next to Iggy. We both stared into space for about ten minutes before grunting at eachother and going to bed.


	14. Did That Even Happen?

**Oh why herro there. I suppose it's been a while? It's already been like a month and a half since school started. Crazy crazy. So what have you been up to?**

**So I saw Scott Pilgrim a while ago. It was a little disappointing. I'm a big fan of the comics. But the soundtrack kicked balls. :)  
Does anyone even read these authors notes? I feel like I'm the only one. I always read the descriptions and side notes before actually looking at the file.  
Peace&Blessingssss**

I decided not to go to school the next day. Soul probably thought I was some sort of weirdo now, and even though I thought he liked me, he probably didn't. Especially not now. "Aileen, why aren't you going to school? Are you sick?" Jude stood at my doorway worriedly with a finger to his mouth. I pretended to cough before saying, "Have a good day at school, Jude. I'll make you some dinner tonight, okay?"

He nodded before shutting my door quietly and leaving for school. I sighed and sat up. _I feel wrong for doing this... but I probably ruined whatever sort of relationship I had with Soul._ Was I overreacting? Maybe. Did I care? Hohohoho. Fuck no.

I made myself a sandwich from stale bread and mustard. It was disgusting, so I fed the rest to Norah. I found some cake mix in the cupboard so I just mixed it and ate the batter. I sat in front of the television watching a show about sharks and thought about how I would die.

When I died, I just wanted to give myself a small cut, walk into the ocean, and flail around. Hopefully a badass shark would come by and just tear me to shreds. Then my friends wouldn't have to worry about dealing with my body. And I would be fucking notorious. "Hey, did you hear about that chick who got eaten by sharks?" "Oh yeah, that crazy girl who cut herself and flailed about so a shark would attack her. What a badass." That's how people would know me. I was pulled out of my daydreaming when the doorbell rang.

The first thing I saw when I opened the door was a pair of sharp teeth and I freaked out. I wasn't ready to die yet! I wanted to die at 102, and at sunrise, not in the afternoon! "Aileen, are you okay?" I opened my non-blind eye to see Soul. Oh. I smoothed down my shirt and tried to make my hair look acceptable.

It wouldn't help, though. I hadn't bothered putting in my contact, so I was wearing my glasses. Not those sleek, sexy frameless ones either. They were thick plastic frames that looked like the kind men wore in the 60s. Soul raised an eyebrow at my appearance. "What happened to you? It looks like you had a fight with a blowdryer." What the fuck, man?

"Well, I'm glad you're in a good mood," I snapped. "I'm really busy doing nothing, so... yeah. Why are you here?" As if I didn't know.

"As if you don't know, Aileen. What was with that... what was with last night?" Oh, yeah. I was so stuck on sharks that I forgot about "last night."

"Ihavetopeebye," I tried shutting the door but Soul stuck his foot in front of it. He casually walked into my house with his hands in his pockets as Norah greeted him happily. Some guard dog. Bah.

Soul smirked at my behavior. "How about a little payback? I feel like I was overpaid for playing only half a song for you." I stood still, confused. My eyes glazed over in thought, before the air on my lips was replaced with... more lips. I GREW ANOTHER PAIR, GUYS. Just kidding. As you can guess, it was the lips of the boy in front of me.

It wasn't super passionate or anything. It was actually rather awkward, but I guess that's what the first kiss was supposed to be like. He pulled away slowly and tried to act all suave and cool. I decided to speak once I regained control of my voice.

"W-well, uh. Thanks for that stimulating conversation, Soul."

"No problem. See you at school tomorrow, Aileen." After that, he left.

My limbs were all tingly and ten different songs got stuck in my head. It was like one of those old radio players that couldn't tune to only one station. Nothing made sense anymore. Norah was nowhere to be found, but she probably ran into my room to take a nap. I was left alone to my thoughts, which was dangerous. My train of thought consisted of "."

Pretty much.

I sat on the couch before remembering something. "Oh, better get started on dinner for Jude."

Jude came home not long after that, with Iggy walking behind him. They started talking about something that happened at school that day, before Iggy looked at me strangely. "Did something happen, Aileen...?"

"No. But I could ask you the same thiiiiiing," I said and raised both my eyebrows. "Don't think I forgot about last night's date with Tsubaki."

"Oh, we're going out now. And Aileen," he smiled. "I know that was you who set it up. 'Kiss the Girl'? So obvious."

"Aw, balls."


End file.
